The Globe

My foldout map and atlas

Have gained a centigrade

All rather mystifying

So I told the fire brigade

As my globe is also warming

And has gained a Fahrenheit

And I fear if this continues

They may into flames ignite

But the fire chief informed me that

Unless there’s smoke and fire

Or ignited flames that threaten to

My referenced world devour

They won’t blue light an engine

As I lack the flames to douse

And a low upturn in temperature

Is no risk to my house   

I suppose the chief has got it right

About this up turned gain

But as it keeps up turning

Showing no sign it may wane

I’ve decided I’ll do all I can

To my referenced world protect

And the reason for this up turn

Discover and correct

And hopefully I can save my globe

And increasing warmth abate

By acting now and hoping that

My actions aren’t too late

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

I’ll be in a nice home

With a nice view

In a nice part of town

On a nice avenue

With ample offroad parking

For my SUV

That I drive to my nice job

In the not too close city

There I’ll nine to five

In my nice office space

With my nice co-workers

In my nice workplace

With ambition to inspire me

And success as my muse

I’ll work my way to the top

While others snooze and lose

And when I have ascended

I’ll continue my ascent

The sky no longer limiting

I’ll never be content

Until I rule this planet

And then the galaxy

And then on to rule the universe

And then infinity

They thanked me for my answer

And praised my honesty

And said that’s why the person left

Who made the vacancy

And if I would forego     

My ambitious five-year plan

I can start a week on Monday so

Yes, I said, I can

The Fish

I’m just one of the many

Plenty more fish in the sea

Hoping that a dangling hook

Will dangle enquiry

Then pluck me from the ocean

For a date or three

And if we gel and get along

Are more than passing ships

Enjoy each other’s company

Sweet nothings from our lips

I’d like to hope we settle down

In a rental by the sea

Where I’ll start a life unlike

My life was previously

Doing as I pleased each day

Living aquatically

Un-hooked un-plucked

And unattached

That’s the life for me

I’m staying in the sea


‘I suppose so’

Is that the best you can do

With all the words trained

‘To obey your mighty pen’

Is that the best you can do

You wrote that line

You said it was hours

Before you were happy with it

And now

How long did

‘I suppose so’   


The few seconds it took to speak

Or the months

It took to say

For Sale

The selling agent says my home

Is an eye sore

And that her house-for-sale sign

Is worth a great deal more

But with a few inventive lines

Of creative agent speak

She can make my little hovel sound

Cosy and unique

And a shrewd investment  

Well worth the asking price

A bricks and mortar two bedroomed  

Mid-terraced paradise

So her crafted words don’t mention  

That the gardens flood

That the U-bends overflow

Un-U-bent U-bend crud

Or where the hordes of termites

Have yet to set up camp

The dry rot has dry rotted

The ever-rising damp

Or even that the boiler is

A fungus filled antique

And not one of its plumbed in pipes

Hasn’t sprung a leak

By circumventing downsides with

Creative agent speak

My home appears affordable

Desirable and chic

And with inventive language to

Allude but not convey

My home now sounds so wonderful

I’ve decided that I’ll stay