Claim to Fame

I don’t want to ever have

A single claim to fame

To find myself in the newspapers

Beneath my headlined name

To be on a TV chat show

And become a celebrity

I wish to remain unfamous

Bask in anonymity

But every time

I go out 

Cameras follow me

No matter where I choose to go

I see CCTV

So I know I must be famous

And the real reality

Is that all of us are famous

And can claim celebrity


I think there’s a hidden meaning

Within some poetry

An inferenced explanation

A well-versed mystery

That no matter how hard I try

I cannot understand

Although I feel that I can claim

A reasonable command

Of the poetic written word

If the spelling isn’t wrong

And the words remain grammatically correct

And dictionary belong

Yet I cannot solve the mystery

Perhaps it isn’t there

Which is why most of my poems need

A poet to repair

But I’ll keep on reading poems

Where the meaning isn’t clear

Just so I can be inspired

And ‘borrow’ the poet’s idea

New Year Resolution

I’ve made a resolution

From the resolution kit

That came on Christmas morning

And for once it’s not get fit

And it isn’t to lose some tummy weight

Or find a new leisure pursuit

It’s to resolve to stay determined

To remain resolute

And to realise a promise

I made to 20 22

That I’ll resolve a resolution I’ll

Actually, really will, for once and for the first time


But now that its constructed

I don’t know how to turn it on

I hope that I can work out how

Before the year has gone

As I never read instructions

I throw them in the bin

And now I cannot resolution

Implement begin

I need a resolution

To instruction manual read

It’s the only way my resolution will

New year succeed

So I’ll top my list to Santa with   

A resolution kit

And a promise to instruction read

When I assemble it

Which means that 20 22

Will be resolution free

And if I’m on the naughty list

So will 23 and …

The Stand-Up

Tells the funniest of funny jokes

Knows how to tickle ribs

Keeps it to pale shades of blue

When she adds ad libs

Has twenty minutes to first impress

The impression she projects

With her mirror practiced mirth routine

Her real self protects

She talks about her life so far

Adds her comedic spin

Is heckled by the bar room great

Who began before she could begin

Then twenty minutes later

She thanks the barroom great

Gets an ovation of indifference

From the gathered eight

And dazed by her experience

She leaves the laughter club

There’s another eight to entertain

Another eight who’ll snub

The stand-up stood before them

Dying on her feet

Another twenty minutes gone

Another gig defeat

That she endures to make it big

To TV show showcase

When sold out auditoriums will

Indifferent eight replace

And then one night they listen