That Man in the Pub

You’ve seen that look before

The cheap brown suit

The Windsor knotted tie tied tight

The brothel crept boot





He’s the funniest man there ever was

The funniest there will ever be

His mirth fuelled words supress all smiles

And lack sincerity





So you avoid his eyes

You know it’s wise

He’s not your bestie mate

You don’t dare to glance

At the funniest man

Or to you he’ll gravitate, too late





To turn away

So prepare to hear

His endless repartee

His underlined unpunchlined

Forced hilarity





And though you want to be alone

You’ll buy him his next drink

Share a pub door smoke with him

You know you live in sync 





With the funniest man

In the cheap brown suit

And Windsor knotted tie

The master of vulgarity

The pub bar butterfly





He’s everything you don’t want to be he’s

That man in the pub

And soon you’ll be another

Welcome to the club

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