Hello, said the Queen
Can my chauffeur use your loo
And after she has warmed the seat
Do you mind if I go too
Of course not, said my mother
Would you like to stay for tea
I’d love to, was the Queens’ reply
But first the royal wee
And when the royal wee was flushed
We sat down for our tea
The chauffeur next to mum and dad
The Queen right next to me
I’m afraid it’s only bread and jam, said dad
And a cake that I’ve just made, said mum
But there’s fresh brewed tea in the pot
We’re so glad that you stayed, said me
You’re very welcome, said the Queen
As she polished off the lot
And washed it down with fresh brewed tea
She drank straight from the pot
Delightful butties
Burped the Queen
I really loved the cake
Far tastier than anything
The palace chef can make
Why thank you, said my mother
It was rather nice
I can bake another cake for you
If you would like another slice
Really, said her majesty
You would do that for me
That’s oh so very kind of you
Here, have an OBE
Why thank you, said my mother
As she accepted her award
I haven’t been this happy
Since the kitchen was re-floored
Now if you’ll royal pardon me
I’ll make another cake
It’s a recipe I invented
Very quick to bake
Can I assist, said the Queen
It’s something I’d love to do
I so rarely get a chance to bake
If that’s alright with you
Excuse me ma’am, the chauffer said
But I think it’s time to go.
Your majesty is expected
At a royal variety show
I’d find that dull, my mother said
I’d never stay awake
I never do, said the Queen
Let’s bake another cake